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REFLECTION

May 11th, 2025 - - - Mother’s Day 
Late Grandmother’s Apartment  

Sometimes it feels like we are so focused on the future that we neglect the past. Growing up, I didn’t place much emphasis on learning my family’s roots. I was focused on existing in NYC and was taught to assimilate. It really wasn’t until college where I started understanding the concept of identity and how important it is to explore your own. 

I’ve visited my family’s hometowns when I was younger but never thought too deeply about it. Just how different it is from home and how different everyone is from me. From a young age, people in China never really thought I was Chinese, which is ironic because I’m also not what “Americans” believe to be “American” here. But it was this balancing act of these two cultures that helped me develop my identity. 

Last year, I went back to where it all started. Where my grandma grew up, where my mom grew up, where I’ve visited when I was a kid. I remember my grandma telling me about carrying her children upstairs to their fifth floor walkup everyday. At the time I didn’t think much of it. But now I can only be in awe of all the blood, sweat and tears that our families have went through, most of which we don’t even think about, to give us what we have. So it was only right to dedicate this to her. 

Now it feels full circle - - - clothes inspired by my life in NYC, shot in China by my cousin and her friend who both live there, in front of grandma's apartment and presented on Chinese New Year. Thank you to Bella and CC for making this happen.

Dear Grandma, hope you see all the seeds that you planted are all growing and prospering, and nothing would be possible without you. Miss you dearly and always with love - - - j